For the one you love
by AllTimeNatalie
Summary: He was dying. Falling. Fading into the bleak background. He ran a hand down his cheek, along the sharp contours. He wished he'd stopped him, thrown the helmet back at him but he hadn't. Howince, angst, character death. Twist in chapter 2
1. Chapter 1

**Don't own Boosh, Noel and Julian do. **

**He was dying. Falling. Fading into the bleak background. He ran a hand down his cheek, along the sharp contours. He wished he'd stopped him, thrown the helmet back at him but he hadn't. Howince, angst, character death.**

**For the one you love **

**A/N: This is based on a little story I heard, I'll type it at the end so as to not give it away. **

The hospital room was dark, the shadows danced elegantly along the pale, white walls. A tear rolled down his cheek, it was such a beautiful moment, too perfect, like something from a book, like something from a hospital programme. That's why he was so sure Vince was going to wake up. He was so sure his eyes were going to flutter open with a hint of grace but they never did. He sighed and allowed more and more crystal drops drip from his eyes and onto his corduroys. He remembered that night perfectly. He remembered what it was and what it should have been but it wasn't. He remembered exactly the horrible, high-pitched squeal of the tyres, the crack, Vince's vulnerable whimper.

"_I hate motorcycles, why did you get one?" Howard asked, annoyed and unsure. "I hate people touching me!" _

"_Yeah? Well deal with it Mr Jazz-pants. You either hold onto me or fall off. Besides, I got it cheap off Leroy's cousin Mike." Howard nodded and wrapped his arms shakily around Vince's slim stomach. _

"_That would be Mike that sounds like bike?" Vince nodded with a chuckle, a happy, delighted chuckle. The feel of Howard's arms around him allowed him to feel safer than a thousand bike helmets. "Why don't I get a helmet?" _

"_I only had one. You'll be fine; we're only going to the shop." Howard nodded and tightened his grip as the bike stand left the pavement. "You okay?" He felt him nod against the back of Vince's head he was held that close. "Okay." Five minutes later, Vince mumbled, "Howard, take my helmet off, you can wear it. You're all about safety and I'd rather you wear it than me, it doesn't exactly look good, it's ruining my hair! You know I backcombed it?" Howard sighed and carefully removed the helmet. _

"_You sure little man? I mean it's just isn't it safer for you to wear it?" He hovered it above Vince's head; his legs were wrapped around Vince's so he couldn't fall off. _

"_Nah, I'd rather you have it. I want to look good, you do safety, I do image that's how it always works." Howard nodded and placed it on his head, fastening it so tight it almost cut off circulation. _

"_Well if you're sure." Only a few minutes later, Howard flinched. "Vince! What the hell? Stop!" Vince cringed as the bike slammed into the wall of The Velvet Onion. Howard closed his eyes and blinked several times, the bleary vision becoming evidently clearer. "Vince?" He whispered brokenly. "Vince please!" He scurried over to his best friend's side. Blood trickled down Vince's arm and leg, a large piece of wood jutted from his side. Howard only survived because he had a helmet on. "Vince don't do this, please, think about Gary Numan, Led Zeppelin, anything!" Vince winced and managed to move slightly. _

"_How…Howard," the words tumbled over each other as they poured from his lips. "Howard, I knew the brakes were faulty, I'd tried to stop before but I couldn't. I wanted… I wanted you to… be safe. I couldn't… risk you're life… for… any…thing. I…I…I love you." Suddenly, he groaned, the loudest, most painful, most agonizing groan he had ever heard. His eyes fluttered shut and his head fell onto the wet, frozen gravel. Howard's eyes clouded with a thousand crystals, tumbling and tripping over one another. _

"_Vince! Come on you electro-ponce, don't die on me now. After everything we've seen, after everything we've been through you can't leave me. Not now, not yet." He screamed and pulled his best friend's mobile from the pile of crimson, filthy bricks and dialled 999. _

"Mr Moon?" A woman in a blue mumbled almost silently. He knew it wasn't good news, he saw it in her glare, in her eyes. It was written in the way they twinkled with sorrowful tears. "We did all we could but we don't think he's going to pull through." He nodded and wandered back into the room he had been asked to leave when Vince had started to fall.

"Vince?" he whimpered almost mutely. "Vince even though you've gone, I want you to know, I loved you more than anything too." With that, he sat beside his friend, took his hand in his and kissed it lightly. "And I'll never stop loving you." Stroking his hand lightly, he sighed and sniffled a few tears back. Vince Noir, his everything had given him the helmet so he would live. He only wished he'd known. He only wished he could turn back time and stop him from pulling the metallic blue monster away from the curb. He only wished he'd known. His world had shattered like fibreglass; he couldn't pick up the pieces, not now, not ever. He'd always be plagued with the fact that the one he loved risked, and lost, his life for him.

**Here's the story. You've probably heard it; this is the compressed version- **

**A man and his girlfriend are riding on his motor bike. He tells her to wear the helmet because he doesn't want helmet-hair. She smiles and puts on the helmet. The bike slams into a wall and the man dies but the woman survives with minor injuries all because she's wearing a helmet. The man secretly knew the brakes were faulty; he just wanted to give his girlfriend a chance to survive because she meant so much to him and he loved her. **

**If you would do this for the one you love then I hope this story has had an impact on you. If you wouldn't then I still hope it has had an impact on you. Review if you would do it or if you want to discuss anything. I heard it and had to write a story including my favourite fandom couple in it. Reviews welcome. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't own Boosh, Noel and Julian do. **

**He was dying. Falling. Fading into the bleak background. He ran a hand down his cheek, along the sharp contours. He wished he'd stopped him, thrown the helmet back at him but he hadn't. Howince, angst, character death.**

**For the one you love **

**Wasn't gonna update but I had a brain wave and here it is. It's a bit strange but then again isn't that what makes us unique? :P **

I was ripping out of myself, pulling myself from my own being. I wanted so desperately to crawl back inside, make it all end. I wanted more than anything to tell him that I'd loved him from the very beginning but I couldn't. _I love you _seemed fitting at the time but it wasn't all that needed to be said. I stood silently behind him, lingering unseen like some sort of ghost. Well, that's what I was, wasn't it? I only needed to see him for one final time before I could let go. However, something stopped me from letting go. Something made hold on, a memory, made me cling on. I took a piece of paper and a pen I found on the side of the table and scrawled;

_I love you Howard, I'll always love you. I've loved you since the beginning and I'll never stop loving you. Don't cry, please. You can't see me but I can see you and it's tearing me apart. It's not the end, not yet. I want to hold on and I'll try for as long as possible. If I fall, promise me you'll catch me? If not, then I'll see you soon Mr Jazz-Pants. Well, not soon but in about 50 years. It's not that long… really. I just want you to know that I'll wait for you. I won't cross over to the other side until you do and I'm willing to wait however long it takes. Five or fifty years, I don't care. Don't blame yourself, you didn't know, how were you to realise the brakes were broken? Not like you were driving. Anyway, the Nurse is coming and I don't want her to find this so you have to hide it somewhere, in your pocket, anywhere. _

_Lots of love, _

_Vince _

_P.S- I tried to tell you Howard, I tried to tell you how much you meant to me but I couldn't phrase it. I just couldn't put into words what you mean. I'll keep holding on, I'll keep resisting letting go just for you. I'm not ready to say goodbye. Love you always. _

I saw Howard pick up the mysterious letter that had appeared on the floor. He pulled it open and gasped as he read it. He knew it was me before he'd seen the signature. Tears stung at my dead eyes. I didn't know ghosts could cry but my theory was becoming evident. I thought that if ghosts got upset, like if they found out that Mick Jagger was going bald or if Bollo was right about Iggy working in Tesco, they'd cry. I had never felt anymore pain than I was feeling then. Watching Howard cry, over me, trying to be strong, it tore my still heart out. It was weird, I was dead but I was feeling. I wasn't sure what I was feeling but it was something, like a spark lost in what could have been if I hadn't pulled away from the curb. it was all my fault, I'd put his life in my hands and I'd almost lost him. And yet, even in his living he was slipping away from me.

I couldn't touch him. I wanted to but I couldn't. We were from two separate worlds now. One wasn't meant to exist but it did, the other was a harsh reminder of what I used to be. I'd be his paparazzi. Watching him, photographing his every move in my memory because it's the only way I can still be with him. I'd become a crazed fan, a stalker. I'd prowl the night just to be with him, I'd do anything for him now. He shook his head and dropped the letter to the floor.

"He's not real. He's not real, he's dead! Howard, you're kidding yourself." Another fraction of my heart fell apart as he spoke the words _"He's not real." _I broke through the boundary holding us apart and wrapped my pale arms around him. I breathed on his neck, every puff of warm air making him shiver. "You're imagining it."

"Your not." I breathily blew onto his neck and pulled him closer. He turned in my arms, completely unaware of the fact he was inches away from my lips. I pulled him forward, our lips touching in a moment of pure love and need. It could have been classed as necrophilia but I wasn't a body, I was a spirit. My cold, blue lips lingered on his for a while until I mouthed the words _"I can't wait."_ Before he could realise we were not held together by each other's tender embrace, my body jerked and my eyes bolted open. I instantly looked at Howard's eyes. He looked as though he was dreaming. I smirked and cockily said,

"I'm back baby."

**A/N: Happy chapter ending! :} Hope you like it and if it's shit then do feel free to tell me. It's not like I'm gonna die because I wrote a bad chapter. Thanks for the reviews of chapter 1 guys, love you all! **

**Peace 'n' love, **

**Mrs Old Gregg! **

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Still not owning Boosh. I sent them food but… I apparently need money to buy it… never knew. You learn something new everyday. :L **

**So, so, so, so unbelievably sorry that I forgot about this one. So I am updating it now! **

**He was dying. Falling. Fading into the bleak background. He ran a hand down his cheek, along the sharp contours. He wished he'd stopped him, thrown the helmet back at him but he hadn't. Howince, angst, character death.**

**For the one you love **

"Vince!" He screamed and pulled me into his arms. His strength crushed me, clearly the jazzercise was working. I was thinking of starting one but called Numancise. It's like Jazzercise but with Gary Numan instead of jazz.

"Hey." I gulped, my words starting to lodge in my throat. "I… I couldn't go and I guess you were the thing that made me fight harder than I had before. I just couldn't leave you and I know I shouldn't have cheated death but I just felt…" He smiled and pressed a finger to my lips. 

"Vince, shut up please." I smiled and nodded; simply answering with _"K" _He smiled and crunched our lips together. "I've loved you too, since the beginning. How did you cheat death?" I shrugged and clicked my fingers.

"It just happened like that. Why? Does it bother you?" He shook his head, my lips still inches away from his.

"Bother? Why the hell would it bother me?" I shrugged and pulled away from him, turning my head to face the clear setting sun. "Vince, what's wrong?" I shrugged again, shaking away his arms.

"Honestly? It feels wrong." I finally whispered, keeping my eyes on the setting sun.

"What feels wrong?" Howard asked and followed my eyes. "Vince, I'm your boyfriend now tell me! D'ya want me to get Gary?" I instantly shook my head and sighed, staring at my hospital bed.

"That's it, us, the whole boyfriend thing. I dunno, I love you, believe me I do, more than I can say but I… I dunno I guess you're too good for me." He frowned, shaking his head. "Really, I think you deserve better. Howard, I just can't, I just be this thing you need me to be. I can't like jazz, I can't listen to you rant on about Bobby Trumpetshoes, I just can't and that's the perfect person for you. I tried Howard, I tried to listen to jazz but my neck and my allergies it just didn't work and I tried listening to you but I just couldn't because I was missing Peacock Dreams. Oh Howard, I've tried so hard to be this… thing, but I can't be. I just can't make myself be something I'm not." Howard sighed shakily and raised his eyes to meet mine.

"Are you breaking up with me?" I gulped aloud and sighed, taking his hands.

"I think you warrant someone better. That person is not me." Howard nodded but pulled me into his arms and kissed me once more. "You're really not getting it are you?"

"That's the thing though Vince, I think it is you. I love you more than anything and I cannot just let the best thing in my life walk away. Vince, I don't like people touching me yeah? But with you, it's different. I can't sleep unless I see you in the bed opposite me and if we break this off then it just won't be the same. You said it yourself that I was the thing helping you cling onto your last bit of life, does that mean anything to you?" I closed my eyes, tight, trying to block out the needy tone in his voice.

"You don't understand. That means more to me than anything but…" He cut my sentence short and opened the door.

"I understand, I understand perfectly well, you just don't love me like I love you." I hit my head on the window, harder than I thought and resisted screaming and swearing my head off.

_Fuck, Shit, Fuck! _

I mouthed to no one, secretly screaming them in my mind.

"I do!" I whined, more desperate than was necessary.

"Prove it." He darkly muttered, Dennis' voice ran in my head, like he'd said it that night of Howard's party. That night when me and Howard kissed, that magical night. I shakily sighed and placed a girly hand on my hip. It was not meant to look that girly, it just did.

"How? What can I possibly say that will prove to you that I love you more? I came back to life for you. I gave my fricken life for you. Does this not show I love you? For Christ's sake Howard, what do you want me to do? Climb to the top of Big Ben and scream it? Because I will if it'll prove it." Howard scoffed and dropped his gaze to the floor.

"You wouldn't?" His words dripped with sarcasm, my face remained completely serious.

"Wouldn't I?" He raised an eyebrow, my arm dropping to my side. "If you're just gonna be sarcastic then maybe we should end it." It was a thoughtless sentence but it just somehow came out with out me noticing it. His face suddenly turned especially serious than mine was. I nodded, pretended I didn't care but I did, so much.

"Vince, I believe you. I know you do and if I could turn back time then I would give anything to be in your shoes because you do not deserve this but I can't." I smiled my heart stitching in my chest. "Vince?" I gasped and leant against the bed.

"S'ok, just a little… pain in my… chest." His eyes swirled with concern as I fought the pain that swelled in my torso.

"You sure little man?" His eyes conveyed all that needed to be said; he was worrying and panicking more than he ever had. "Vince!" I fell silent before fluttering my blue eyes open and smiling.

"Actually, let's re-think that theory?" I burst into laughter and so did he. "Fuck that, I did not crash for nothing. We are going to date and you are going to like it or lump it!" I faught back the pain that shot through me like a lightning bolt.

**A/N: Angsty chapter because I have decided that love stinks and is not worth the pain it causes when your heart gets broken so I have taken my anger out on Howard and Vince, sorry dudes, didn't mean to. I'll give you a happy chapter next. **


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